Journey Thru My Mind

If A Picture Says It All

2009-11-26T22:02:00.000-08:00

Call me old or whatever, but lately, I've come to realize how I remember faces of people, but I can't seem to re-call their names ! Sometimes,I'm amazed with myself, as I can spell out the very detail of the outfit and accesories that the person had worn before, how I felt about it and how the conversation could just move from perhaps colour to culture, places to countries.

Fascinating isn't it on how these are soo vivid, but nothing comes near to the name !

It is true that a picture paints a thousand words.Looking at a restaurant menu for example can be soo mesmerizing - tempting us cusotmers to perhaps pay more only to be disappointed a while later with a dish that is not only 2 shades different, but also contains less ingredients, more oil and swallowed with utter disbelief, a teeny bit disappointment and a pledge to never order the same anymore, or even worse - to never patronize the joint anymore !

Now coming back to names and faces.

So what do I do when I bump into friends, acquaintances or even irritants in public areas such as the mall, outside the cinema or even at the gym , of whose name I cannot possibly remember?

I simply make conversation without inferring their names ! During which, half my brain would try soo hard to remember the person's name, whilst the other half would be "trying" to pay attention to keep the conversation going, with the hope that the name would suddenly just pop up !

Anyone has or had a similar experience?

Fortunately, if I have a friend with me, I just introduce the friend, and allow the other party to introduce theirself - in the process which I'm "told" of his/her name. Thankfully it has worked thus far. God knows how long luck is gonna be by my side in regards to this !

Maybe some of us, me included is not using that better part of the brain to capitalize our present and possibly our future for the better of ourselves?

Or, could this just be a mere coincidence, simply because of the medium, where images outweighs words, as how videos outweighs still images. No?

TGIF Tomorrow !

2009-11-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

Yo people of the world..How'z it going?

I have been rather occupied and free lately.As ironic and contradicting as it sounds, that really is how it is.Free because no more exams or assignment submissions (at least for now till all my results are officially out.God willing I will clear it all). Occupied because I have met someone !

Ahha, I've let the cat out of the bag !

A couple of things have been running thru my head lately.I have been boggled with a lot of questions.The biggest one being what am I waiting for if I realize that I am surrounded by clowns.

Life can be fun, but it ain't a circus.
Games are cool, but life in itself is no game.. Hell NO !

Why lazy?Complacent? Especially if one knows that one shouldn't deny oneself with the better option whilst on this pilgrim journey on earth.

Sometimes, I struggle to take my own advise.Sometimes is happening a lot lately. Boy oh boy !

Talented Child-->Brilliant Youth-->Successful Adult-->Caring Father-->Remembered Soul

2009-07-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

"..Once all alone
I was lost in a world of strangers
No one to trust, on my own
I was lonely..."

You Are My Life - Michael Jackson

You , me and Jane who lives down the road have gone thru feelings of loneliness,dejection and discrimination in one way or another.

Some suffer in silence.Others express themselves thru violence,writings ,songs or whichever that they are best in doing.

Those who know me would agree that I express myself thru my writings and sarcasm.

Michael Jospeh Jackson expressed himself thru his songs,his dances and charitable contribution,particularly those that concerned children and African welfare.

As a kid, Michael was denied a normal childhood because of his pressing father - a father who wanted his kids to be singers.In the later years, despite of all criticism and allegations (whether true or otherwise) that had been lashed out on Joe Jackson,Michael admitted that his father's disciplining somehow contributed to his success as the greatest entertainer planet Earth has ever witnessed.

As an adult, Michael spent a great deal of time and a portion of his fortune reclaiming the childhood that he had missed.Yes, he surrounded himself with kids, but isn't that what kids do?

Isn't that the sort of affiliation that naturally exists amongst groups of people with common interest?

Michael Jackson conquered the world thru his musc and talents - something he had been working very hard on since he was 5.

He reached his peak in the 80s.Michael's album "Thriller" has and still remians the best selling album of all time.His music video "Thriller" is recognized as the best selling video to be released by any artist.

Popularity took a toll on Michael when the deceitful and the jealous manipulated the elements dearest to him to paint an ugly picture of everything that is not Michael.

An ex-body guard claimed to have destroyed a picture of a naked boy on Jackson's order.This former body guard was paid US$150 000 by an American telvision programme for that story (of a DESTROYED photo).A former maid was paid by the same television programme an amount of US$20 000 for her story that she saw Jackson in the shower with a boy.These 2 are among the many more who in their life time tried to take advantage of the acclaimed icon.

But one thing that Jackson did do was to opt for an out of court settlement on the first allegation of child molestation raised against him.He did this upon advise from his lawyers and confidantes, particularly ex-wife,Lisa Marie and close friend Elizabeth Taylor.They advised him to do so because Michael Jackson's deteriorating health would not be able to withstand the length and mental pressure of the hearings and drama - both in and out of the courtroom.

Such were the scandals and rumours that then led the media to the making of millions of dollars thru nonsensical publications that still remains popular in the market till today, and perhaps would still be in 20 years from now.

As the world anticipated Michael's comeback tour in July 2009, he made his greatest exit - much to the shock of his children,family,friends and fans all over the world.

Michael died on 25 June 2009.His true cause of death is still unknown.

I joined the billions of people around the world to bid farewell to MJ on 7 July 2009.

In that 12 days,I recollected and was awe-struck to have learned on how the King Of Pop had such an impact on my life.

Michael,I can't thank you enough for the wonderful memories and valuable lessons you have taught me thru your songs and struggles.

-Thank you for your music
-Thank you for teaching me humility
-Thank you for showing me perseverance especially when the world tuns their back on you
-Thank you for showing me that the sky is your limit, and people would dictate your life as long as you allow them to do so
-Thank you for teaching me to listen attentively to the words that are spoken , and to the ones that are unspoken
-Thank you for teaching me sensitivity and reminding me to remain steadfast in driving my passion and dreams, because without passion, you cannot excel.Without passion,there is no drive.Without passion,there would be a bleak tomorrow
-Thank you for being that testimony, that love indeed is the greatest force in the world;the same force that people seek, and at the same time drive away
-Thank you for imparting the knowledge that love heals, love soothes and love prevails

I have been blessed for witnessing at least 22 years of your brilliance.

Thank you for everything Michael.

Destiny..

2009-05-01T23:47:00.000-07:00

The weather does not help ease my anxiety as I'm reminded that there is 1 more week before these assignments are due !
As I gathered words into sentences that eventually led to paragraphs (duhh!), I scribbled the below:

I am only one
But still I am one
I cannot do everything
But still I can do something
And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do

Nobody gives you better advise than yourself !
Listen to that voice within you when it speaks..

Belief in who you are.
Take pride of what you are.
Craft your destiny by being the sole navigator in the virtues you wish to acheive.

There is no better time to do this, then NOW !

The Idiot Who Started The Financial Crisis Should Be Shot Dead--> Between The Eyes

2009-04-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little fed up and freaking angry of hearing,reading and witnessing people losing their jobs or being manipulated in one way or another.

Close to 40% pay slash in Ireland? What the hell??

We are paying the bad fortune of those others who made the mistakes.

More and MORE people are victimized from the daily mis-management that over and over again keep falling into wrong hands.When can normality be restored again? When can we have that little peace of mind and assurance that we are okay?

History has a tendency of repeating itself.Does it cause too much for "them" to sit down and see how we overcame this before - rather than lash , bicker and exert unnecessary power at the expense of others?

I wish this was all just a bad dream...

14 Days In Perspective..

2009-01-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

I had 2 very tough weeks thus far..
Worked for more than 10 hours each day,and it was plain crazy!
I became the demanding Angie most people never knew..I couldn't be the nice person anymore, as it was getting me nowhere..

So,as I accelerated one notch up,I annoyed too many people..

Hey, but results were delivered ! So I did benefit from all of these..

In the long run, I need to toughen up further ..But immediately, the best thing to do is to switch off the lights and head to bed!

Good night sweetheart!

2008 Summarized Short & Sweet

2009-01-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

This will forever be my shortest post ; it is self-explanatory babeh !

Customary before the new year dawned, I reflected on the events of the year.
It flashed before me in quick movie strips..

I am convinced and firmly believe that my breakup with Chris was the best thing that happened to me in 2008 !

The present and future is mine to savour !

Marriage - Is It The Begining,Or The End ?

2008-11-07T00:25:00.000-08:00

This is an overdue post.It got me thinking for longer than a while !

I came across this, which could be a statement for some, and something the rest of us dread - "I danced with 2 people on my wedding day - the one I married, and the one I wish I had married"

Oh no !!!

When my day arrives,I sure hope I add on to the logistics of the 1st category and truly be contented with it !

So will you ever know till it's too late? Or ,would you be optimistic and shut one eye, and deafen a ear if you find out something you wish did not exist?

Are commitment,love,trust and ya da ya ya da, enough to keep the flame alive and sufficient to live up to the sacred matrimonial unity that binds a man and woman for better or worse ?

I am not in a position to answer any of these questions, neither am I too sure if I would ever be able to.

Lord, have mercy !

Global Economic Recession Of 2008

2008-11-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's been awhile since I last blogged. Had been caught up with work,assignments and several other tasks that has been keeping me on my toes.

It's a Friday afternoon, in hot sunny Malaysia.The date is 7/11 and it's 3.11 in the afternoon.

My thoughts over this past week has been on President-Elect, Barrack Obama's jubilant victory overthrowing the under-impressive Bush administration; on how this ordinary human being held on to his dreams of being president albeit the fact that he is off African-American descent, not purely,but partially.

I am excited to see how the super-power America will regain its respect as a global epitome-one of stature and dignity.It's going to be a long road for Obama.My deepest respect and support goes out for you Mr.President !

I truly believe that Obama's administration would bring renewed hope to people around the world who are supressed in one form or another- let it be slavery,discrimination,injustice or even things that we mortals selfishly subject ourselves to.

Sometimes things are not as bad as it really is.It's just that in our pursuit to be better and improve ourselves in the area that we choose to, we subject ourselves to unrealistic targets,unnecessary punishments only to be drained of our mental and physical strength.Agree?

Obama takes office at a challenging time at this 21st century.A time where America had recorded a decline in consumption which has led to the global economic cringe.

I believe that America and China has a big role to play in the recent economic downturn.

The United States consumes 25% of the world's oil and gas production.So when they shut down plants and factories, naturally alot of folks had their jobs slashed, resulting in them having to stretch their dollar and be very watchful of their spendings.

I read somewhere that in lieu of Beijing 2008, factories and roads had to be closed temporarily,in an attempt for China to control air pollution.

So when parts of an over-populated China went "dormant" for a period of time, there was no need for citizens to go out and do the regular things - such as fuelling up,eating out,hanging out.

I strongly believe that we do not face the consequences of our actions immediately.

I read that an average human being on a regular income pattern would get out of their financial debts in 2 years if they dispaly high discipline during that period of time.

Somethings got to go.If we resort to something extra,we need to give up something that we already have.

I know there is more to the pinch and anxiety that had left you and me wondering - what's next?

I know that things will get better.This just happens to be a time where we analyze ourselves, be aware of our dependencies, and not give up.

Sigh..

2008-10-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever questioned things that happen around you, and go like ,"..oh why now?? Can't fate choose a better time?.."

Life is depicted in a sinusoidal wave..There are peaks, and valleys..uphills and downhills...whatever you may call it...The lessons are learnt along the way, let it be in the uphill climb or the downhill fall..

So I've just come out of a break up, am moving on really fine actually..Things are picking up at work..School keeps me busy, and my friends bring alot of cheer..However,I'm feeling this way because I didn't have the seafood dinner Mr.N promised to take me too..Urrggghh, it's always the men that throw women off course !

So being in a disappointed frame of mind,my thoughts have been wandering..And shit,I have slightly more than 2 weeks to write a 10000 word assignment..So here goes, all in a nutshell..

Since my breakup with the dimwit,my parents have been very protective over me..Questioning my whereabouts and the company that I'm in..It's becoming a teeny bit unpleasant at my end, as I feel like I'm in some sort of quantum leap, in the frame of that rebelious teenage kid they once had..But the difference, is,at present, I'm almost 27, working really hard on that job that provides for me sufficiently, the same job that takes me places, and pays for my MBA..What more can a parent want, when their child is doing fairly well? Reminds me of human nature in general..We're never entirely satisfied with what we have, always looking out for more or improved versions..

I guess there are other people out there who are going thru the same things I'm encountering..

For the next 2 weeks,I'm gonna shun myself away till I'm done with the 10000 word count..A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

For me, it begins as soon as I get my ass of this chair and have a shower !

Moving On

2008-08-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

Why can't this be easier? Gggrrr..
I know I deserve the best,so does everyone out there..

It's not fair that I have to suffer the consequences because of your irresponsibility !

Why did you come after me the second time,sweep me off my feet only to give up like a good for nothing coward??

I did soo much for you, only to get this at the end?

Life is already tough, why do you have to make it tougher for me?

I have support from my loving family,and my wonderful sisters all over the world..I ain't looking back any more..It's foreward thinking from now on..

I'm pulling my socks up, and I'm on my own..Which is not too bad after all, simply because I don't have to put up with your nonesense,excuses and crap anymore..

Yes,I have finally come to my senses, although it took me 2 weeks, but it is ok..I have finally cut myself off past emotional ties..

So,I Broke Up..Again !

2008-08-31T00:18:00.001-07:00

Yep, I fell short of another relationship..Broke up in my 4th relationship on August 18 2008,after going out with Person X for 19 months..

Was it a bed of roses?? Nnnoooooooooo.....

But being optimistics as I've always been, I continued to grind my teeth and accomodate during that period of time, telling myself.."...hey, relationships are tough, and requires a lot of hard work.You're never gonna get it easy.."

This particular relationship ended because Person X gave up..He refused to carry on..Instead of working with me, he started working against me..He started attacking the very person that I am..The things that I say to the things that I do..I was too naive to read between the lines when everthing was evidently plastered around ! Why was I too oblivious?

I am one of those old-fashioned conventional person.I don't believe in short cuts.I always hold firm that hard work and persevearance will pay off, maybe not immediately, but in time, the results will be delivered..And when it does,I will have the last laugh - something which I have and will continue to have.

You see, when you succeed, people will remember your success story..But if you fail, nobody would wanna hear your regretful lines..So, you might as well tell those sad stories to yourself as a mode of consolation and comfort for as long as you want !

My parents worked hard to bring up my brothers and me with fine education and good qualities.They taught us respect, and nurtured good faith.They never failed to provide us with the best.They have always instilled good morale and had constantly grind us to never take education and things for granted.Mum always says, that whatever you do outside, reflects on your family and your upbringing.We are who we are today, because we chose not to fool around or disappoint our parents.Our parents are very proud of their 3 kids.They want all of us to settle down and get married, with the right people !

So, what if I take 2 weeks to finish my assignments?Can you do any better than me?If yes you can,stop talking and start to take some serious action,rather than waste your evenings talking cock about everything from bird shit to bull shit !

This break up came as a shocker to me..I didn't see it coming,I was caught unaware..

I learnt far too many things this time around..The very essential one being, to always stand up for the person you are because you may pretend now, for a while, but you can't do that for long..I am a learner, I am open to criticism and feedback, because I do not want to carry on making mistakes that I had been doing out of habitual routine..Life is too short to keep falling and learning from mistakes that you have been making..I rather learn from experiences of others, thru books and posts..Sadly, it only sinks in when it is learnt thru your own fallings and experiences..Maybe yes,I've just been too naive, and that it was fated for me to go thru this..I'll take it in good stride..

The kind of man I wanna marry and bring up kids with is plainly what is in the lyrics below:

Grow Old With You- Adam Sandler
I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

So,I'm gonna run along and do my assignment now..I've got my head on my shoulders,so don't worry about me..I'll be fine ! *hugs*

Changes..

2008-01-15T11:03:00.000-08:00

I was just sharing with my boyfriend yesterday, on how the issues we either face or see another person face these days are soo real,something perhaps out of the movies or some soap opera we could have been following..Strange, but true..

Stories of financial debts,family problems,office politics,relationship turmoils,commitment phobia,betrayal...such are the "real things" that I am sure all of us have faced at one point or another..

I remember the day I turned 10.I told my mum my age is ( at that present day of age) a double digit figure..Whooa !!...I was "proud" of myself..Can't quite explain why..My mum ,me and my grandfather were in my dad's old Toyota driving down the road from BSC on that Saturday afternoon..On my birthday 16 years ago..

I also remember turning 18..I was with my parents in their room, and I told my mum that I didn't wanna grow up..I wanted to be 18 forever ..hahaha..No financial commitments,no life threatening exams,no worries...Just plain me,waking up in the mornings,with no mind boggling concern or anxiety or whatever you may call it..

A couple of years ago, I made a conscious attempt to pen down events that I remember from my early days...Since then, every year on my birthday,I will try to remember something from each age...My earliest memory was when I was 3...I remember the event because of the "pain" I endured..My grandfather was driving me home from pre-school..I wasn't wearing my seatbelt...My poor tata knocked against a lamp post, and this little cute angel who was sooooo busy yapping away (me) had her tummy hit against the dashboard..

As a child,I could cry because of pain,frustration or maybe something as lame as not getting what I wanted...I could still do it at 26,but in private of course..hehehe..Crying would not make whatever it is go away...Instead,I would have to stand up,face it and devise a mechanism to work around it...

Today we had some folks from EDS come share with us on their company profile,goals,achievements and future plans...Shell employees had the chance to voice out concerns and raise issues in lieu of outsourcing...And as expected,we didn't quite get what we wanted to hear..

I looked around the room,scanning the facial display of my colleagues and the people that I have crossed paths with during these 2 years of my tenure with Shell..There were alot of foreigners,parents,a few others who had served in the organization for 15 over years,some waiting to retire,divocees,people from broken families,and of course young adults(including me) who had just started embarking on our career,with less than 5 years of working experience..Everyone had their own individual worries and concerns...

These are among the few tough reality scenarios working adults dread to face..Organization changes...Something beyond our control..But you know what, SITI has to wake up and face it !

As staffs,we need to toughen ourselves, provide support to our fellow peers, and set time aside to think of what is important and what's not..on basic essential questions, leading to the quality of life we choose to live and provide for our families and loved ones..

There is a consequence to face for each and every decision we make....

Reflection..Direction..

2008-01-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

It has been closed to 3 years since I wrote in a blog.I thought it was a waste of time to blog.But you know what,this cyber space had been created for me to utilize,and that is exactly what I am going to be doing...So yea, this blog would reflect my train of thoughts..I am going to pen down my concerns,humour,perhaps even stupidity on certain days !! Sit back,relax and enjoy the read :-)